Three Shorts for the Screen

  • A bum meets a deaf man.

DEAF MAN is walking by BUM.

BUM: Could you spare some change? Oh. Go on. Ignore me. God bless you, sir.

DEAF MAN walks by BUM.

 

  • A teenager attempts to mug a magician.

TEEN:  Give me all your fucking money.

MAGICIAN:  Hey now!

TEEN:  Shut it, fucker. I’m not playing around.

MAGICIAN:  What money? Oh! You must mean all this money?

MAGICIAN flashes an array of bills. 

MAGICIAN:  Is it here? Oop! Not this sleeve. Here? Nope. Oh now it’s only a dollar. Wait no, behind your ear this whole time! Oops. Sorry. It disappeared.

TEEN:  Get out of here! 

MAGICIAN:  Yeah, shove it, kid.

MAGICIAN walks away.

TEEN:  Eat a dick, Merlin! Fuck. 

 

  • A college counselor confuses student.

COUNSELOR:  So, where did you grow up?

STUDENT:  Iowa.

COUNSELOR:  Iowa? I love Iowa. Whereabouts?

STUDENT:  Ames.

COUNSELOR:  Ames is gorgeous. It’s one of my favorite cities. I even interviewed for a job at Iowa State.

STUDENT:  Did you?– Oh.